A Therapist’s Open Letter to a client.

I was on a therapy business coaching call and the suggestion was given to write a love letter to a client. “Odd” you might be saying, which I thought the same thing. Yet, I listened more and I did my own research. It became clear what the value to you as a reader and to myself would be.

As a trauma therapy and PTSD treatment specialist in Ogden Utah, I am working on gaining “my voice” as a therapist and especially in writing.

My coaches have been challenging me to do this, hence their suggestion. If you have read past blog articles, thank you! I hope you learned something. But to be honest and I can admit, they feel stuffy. At least to me. So here goes my first attempt with working on “my voice.”

An Open letter to a client:

Before you came to therapy, I made a commitment. My commitment to you was to always do my best and always show up present. I committed to doing my own work and having healthy boundaries in and out of the office. I do this so I can be fair to you, your time, and your growth. My commitment to you was to try my hardest and continue to become educated and learn, so I could better help you.

I hoped you would treat me with kindness, mutual respect and show up present to each session. Most of all, I wanted us to agree to be honest with each other. If I fall short, tell me. If I have to adjust to the ways I do my practice, I will tell you.

I know the first session was rough.

Coming in and opening up about your past was not easy. As you began to move into the story of your trauma, I stepped in. I said, “Let’s take our time. No need to feel flooded today.” I saw the pain in your eyes, the tears rolling down your face, as we paused and both just felt what it was like to be in the room together.

I have to take this moment to tell you that I admire you.

You were quiet at first. There was a timidness and shyness about you. I could also see how isolating and painful that was for you. I could see both parts of you and knew we needed to take it slow. Your ability to stay with me, stay with your body, and learn to regulate showed me that you wanted things to be different. You allowed yourself to be curious.

I remember the session where I told you I knew you were not crazy.

I taught you about your nervous system, your brain, and how trauma impacts a person. I told you that your body had been doing an amazing job helping you survive. Your eyes became big. Your shoulders rolled back and your spine straightened. After attuning to each other’s nervous systems, the last few weeks, I knew you could hear this. I knew a part of you would be able to embrace, “I am not crazy.”

After a while, you began to talk more.

Your personality and your humor put a smile on my face. You spoke in a way that allows for imagination and also for someone to ask in a curious way for you to explain more. You use metaphors. You are creative. Watching you step out of your comfort zone in many ways showed me the strength you have. It let me know that you were walking more in your truth.

Therapy is this dance.

Especially trauma therapy. It is this beautiful blend of being in a place of resilience and presence and also right on the edge of emotional overwhelm. I feel honored you let me do this dance with you. That we could be open with each other. That I could share what I saw and ask bluntly, “How present are you? Are you still with me?”, and that you could share what was working and not working with me week by week.

As we discovered our dance we had some mishaps.

I didn’t always get the intervention right. Sometimes it fell flat and I felt embarrassed. Sometimes you felt like you weren’t articulating things well. You felt frustrated that I had to slow things down to understand. But we were patient with each other. Trust developed and we were both willing to give each other space to mess up and knew it would be okay.

The progress you made in your ability to track your sensations and articulate how you knew you were feeling a certain way, has been awesome to see.

You hold boundaries.

You never thought that would be possible.

You know how to soothe yourself when things become overwhelming. You know how to be mindful and bring in your noticing brain. And you communicate your needs.

All these things are mind-blowing.

Truly, I am speechless with how far you have come.

The trauma no longer haunts you. I know this does not mean that everything will be easy or is easy. I trust that you have skills to use and you know how to navigate difficult times. I am excited for you and the life in front of you.

As we are approaching graduation, I have one final thought.

I once heard a therapist say, “I don’t tell my clients I am proud of them. It sounds like I am the adult treating them like a child. As a therapist, we should not tell our clients we are proud of them.” For some reason that never sat well with me.

I am proud of you.

You have come a long way.

From your therapist - Kristi

Thank you for reading. As a therapist in Ogden Utah I work with many clients. This is just a snapshot of one client and one experience. Their experience. We all have different lived experiences. If counseling in Ogden is something you are looking for head on over to my contact page or reach out for help finding a therapist that fits your needs.