More effective communication
Communication was a theme that came up throughout the year. Many of my clients wanted to work on how they could better communicate. They wanted to express their needs, emotions, thoughts, and ideas in a healthier way. They would often express to me this feeling of never being taught the skill of communication and I completely understand. I was not taught either and am still working on being a more effective communicator.
Communication is a critical aspect of any healthy relationship.
Whether it's with a partner, family member, or friend, being able to communicate your needs effectively can help prevent misunderstandings, build trust, and foster stronger connections. In this blog, we'll explore five ways to better communicate.
1. Be Clear and Specific: When communicating your needs, it's important to be clear and specific about what you're asking for. Use clear and concise language, and avoid using vague or general terms. For example, instead of saying "I need more attention," try saying "I would like us to spend more time together. Can we plan a dinner date?"
2. Use "I" Statements: When communicating your needs, try to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, instead of saying "You never listen to me," try saying "I feel unheard when I share my feelings with you." This helps to avoid placing blame and can make the other person more receptive to your needs. The formal "I" statement protocol is "I feel..., when you..., because..., next time (make a request or ask for something different to happen.)
"I" statements can be a great tool and one you can think outside of the box with. Play around and put your own twist on it.
3. Listen to the Other Person: Communication is a two-way street, and it's important to listen to the other person's perspective as well. When they share their thoughts or feelings, take the time to listen actively and without judgment. This can help foster a sense of mutual respect and understanding.
4. Practice Assertiveness: Being assertive means communicating your needs clearly and directly while respecting the other person's feelings. It can be helpful to practice assertiveness in small ways, such as speaking up when someone cuts in front of you in line or asking for a raise at work. This can help build your confidence in communicating.
5. Practice Active Problem-Solving: If you and the other person have different needs or perspectives, it can be helpful to practice active problem-solving. This means working together to find a solution that meets both of your needs. For example, if you need more alone time but your partner needs more quality time together, you could come up with a compromise, such as spending a few hours together each day and then taking separate time to pursue individual interests on the weekends.
In conclusion, communication is essential in any healthy relationship. By being clear and specific, using "I" statements, listening to the other person, practicing assertiveness, and engaging in active problem-solving, you can better communicate your needs and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
Remember that effective communication takes practice, so be patient with yourself and the other person as you work to improve your communication skills.
If you are interested in this area of learning you might find these two books of interest:
Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High - Although it is written for the workplace it is very applicable to interpersonal relationships.
This YouTube video was profound to me for many reasons:
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